You Know You Might Be Obsessed with HIM and Ville Valo When:
1. Tattooing the portraits of dead poets on your body makes perfect sense.
2. You know EXACTLY what DILLIGAF means.
3. In fact, you might even have DILLIGAF somewhere on your skin.
4. November 22nd is an International holiday and should be celebrated by all.
5. If you see anything with a heartagram on it, you either buy it, or resist the urge because your house is already covered in them.
6. Your favorite colors are red, black, and purple. And sometimes hot pink.
7. You know who Daniel Lioneye actually is.
8. Someone says Our Lord and you instantly say, “Oh, you’re a fan of HIM, too?!”
9. You considered purchasing a chicken foot.
10. $50 seems completely reasonable for a Limited Edition CD.
11. Your internet screen name has one or more of the following in it- heartagram, 666, 616, Valo, razorblade, sin, poison, redemption, or any other HIM lyric reference.
12. Getting Ville Valo’s water bottle at a concert is the equivalent of the Holy Grail.
13. And you swear up and down that it has magical healing powers, too.
14. You buy a soundtrack to a movie that you have never seen just because it has a HIM song on it.
15. You say, on a regular basis, kiitos and hei…and you’re NOT Finnish.
16. When sitting next to a campfire, you say “I’m so close to the flame.”
17. You’ve seen Mige‘s naughty bits. And not on purpose.
18. You would practically sell your soul for the GOOD pics of the Bam and Ville Huck photo shoot.
19. And then you would lock yourself in your room for 24 hours or so with said pictures.
20. At some point during the day, you find yourself quoting HIM songs, completely subconsciously.
21. You remember a time when Linde DIDN’T have dreads.
22. You became enraged that a teacher lost her job because of playing a HIM song in her classroom.
23. You have taken duct tape and a black Sharpie and covered a street sign with Dead Lover’s Lane.
24. It’s a religious matter!!!
25. You can’t recall ever seeing Ville kiss a girlfriend in public…but you have all of the pics of him kissing boys in public.
26. Photobucket is your own personal HIM gallery.
27. You call your friends nidiots.
28. You don’t just have a Ville Valo poster…you have a Ville Valo WALL.
29. You know who Sylvester is.
30. Even though you may like Bam, he did NOT invent the heartagram.
31. The Tavastia is your version of Mecca.
32. You’ve given a microphone a blowjob.
33. And it gave you negative feedback.
34. You have made the Love Metal drink.
35. And you liked it.
36. You realize a tower is a PERFECT place to live, and now you want one of your own.
37. You have to have a blood test done and you say to the nurse, “I bleed well.”
38. At one point in your life, you have been in love and lonely.
39. Out of Ville and Linde, you know who has the deeper voice.
40. Your life since 1997 can be separated into the following categories- When Greatest Lovesongs Vol. 666 came out, when Razorblade Romance came out, when Deep Shadows & Brilliant Highlights came out……
41. Your personal mantra is “Life is short and love is over in the morning.”
42. You would die tonight for love.
43. You paid $35 for an empty Coke can on eBay…because it was designed by Ville Valo.
44. You started tearing up when you saw the pics of Ville right before he checked himself into rehab.
45. You wear a beanie even in the middle of summer.
46. You’re jealous of Bam Margera.
47. You see someone wearing a HIM t-shirt and find it a turn-on.
48. You know that all men think with their dick’s, but Ville Valo’s dick is different.
49. You had a heartagram cake for one of your birthdays.
50. And you almost couldn’t eat it because it was so damn pretty.
51. Just one look from his eyes, one look and you’re dying, because he’s so beautiful.
52. You didn’t throw panties onstage at the HIM concert. You threw a book of Baudelaire’s poetry.
53. With your phone number on the inside cover. (just in case)
54. You have a drawing of Homer Simpson wearing a HIM shirt.
55. At school, you studied ethics instead of religion.
56. You can recall basically every piece of Ville Valo’s wardrobe. Especially the leather pants.
57. As far as greatness goes, you compare Sleepwalking Past Hope with Stairway to Heaven.
58. Your idea of the PERFECT vacation spot is Finland.
59. You would happily accept an autograph from Ville Valo in sperm or blood.
60. You have crossed oceans of wine to find a HIM concert.
61. You find yourself singing “Like a wirgin, touched for the wery first time…”
62. You’re not addicted to HERoin, you’re addicted to HIMoin.
63. Your dog is named Sami.
64. Love Metal is considered by you to be a very real genre of music. (which it is, thankyouverymuch)
65. It’s been years since you went a single day without listening to at least one HIM song.
66. Your wedding vows consisted of, or will consist of, “In sickness and in health, in joy and sorrow, until love and death embrace.”
67. When the moon is full and shining, you refer to it as Dark Light.
68. During a game of tug-of-war, you yell to your teammates “Please don’t let it go! Because if you won’t let it, I won’t let it go!”
69. The first trick you taught your dog, Sami, was to Play Dead.
70. It’s not peace, love, and harmony. It’s peace, love, and VEGETABLES.
71. Every time you hear the word Venus, you think Doom.
72. You have been jealous of Ville’s cigarettes, because damn it all if you don’t want to be pressed between his lips.
73. You know for a fact that I love you is eight letters….and so is bullshit.
74. While meeting HIM, you blurt out “I’m waiting for you to drown in my love!”
75. Like myself, you took the actual time to write a list like this.
I LOVE YOU H.I.M!!!!